Depression in Relationships : Say Goodbye

Breakup is never easy or quiet. Breakup when your partner is experiencing a psychiatric condition can be absolutely painful. However, there comes a time in every relationship when it may be necessary to evaluate your options and make more difficult choices.

No one wants to be accused of leaving someone they care about when they needed it the most. But you also should not remain in a worn-out relationship with no possible future due to a sense of duty or guilt. Sometimes it’s nothing more than saying goodbye—for the sake of one’s own mental health.

Before that, for yourself and your partner’s well-being, You should be confident that you did everything you could to save your relationship. If not, you may be overwhelmed with guilt or doubt of yourself, I was wondering whether you’d done everything you could for your partner and your relationship.

Something to do before we end it.

Check your ego on the doorstep.

You’re not responsible for your partner’s breakdown. Depressed individuals can say or do abnormal things that it would not normally be. It can cause them to whip others. As someone closest to the patient, you’re an easy target. Don’t take him seriously.

Recruit external help

Discuss your issues with friends and family. Get ideas and support. Take some breaks from time to time. Understand that your demands are essential, too.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Finally, you may realize that you simply cannot continue to live or deal with someone who is depressed. If you think they’re dragging you too, maybe it’s time you thought about separating yourself. It can mean something to take a long interval, to a permanent separation of the ways.

Anyway, take the time to carefully reflect on your options before you make decisions that you will have to live with forever. Although the decision to leave or not will definitely be emotional, keep in mind that decisions made in anger are rarely wise.

Set a deadline

If things seem intolerable, consider scheduling the change. For example, you could choose to give him an additional two months. If your family member did not seek or begin treatment at that time, or did not improve despite treatment, or refuses to follow the suggested treatment as indicated, it is only then that you will allow yourself to go.

Consider any practical impacts.

Trying to support with a relationship with a depressed person can make the healthy partner feel powerless and more than a little hopeless sometimes. If you feel that you just cannot continue, maybe it is time to separate. But leaving might not be easier than it looks, especially if you’re at a wedding. Where will you go? How will you survive? How will your partner survive? Did the kids get involved?

Sometimes depressed individuals may be drug users or alcoholics. If you do, you have no option but to leave. The emotional welfare and physical safety of your children should be your first priority. It may be necessary to look seriously at these and other practical matters before saying goodbye and leaving.

At times, your partner may fear suicide if you leave him or her. It is a serious situation and requires immediate but appropriate attention. Threatening suicide during the break-up should not force you to remain in the relationship.

You can’t be the guy that gets your partner to decide if he wants to live or die. It’s totally dependent on them. Trying to “save” your partner by staying with him can only make the relationship more dysfunctional and may eventually lead you to resent him.

Seek couple’s counseling

If your partner is good enough to participate, consider getting couples counselling so that you can resolve your relationship problems before ending. A therapist may be capable of providing perspectives that none of you can handle alone.

You can see that despite the depression, the relationship is worthwhile saving. Counselling can provide you with the tools you need to heal and advance as a couple. If the therapy doesn’t work, at least you know you did the best you could.

In the end, if you’ve tried everything and your relationship seems desperate, or worse—toxic—maybe it’s time to move on. Try telling your partner that you still care about him. Wish them the best, but tell them that you have to take a clean break for your own reason.

Say goodbye and leave without regret, or be too dramatic. Remind your partner that they must persevere in their treatment. If you have made the effort to improve your relationship, and take care of your partner’s health, but things are still not working, you can break up without any guilt. You deserve the same opportunity to be happy.

Suicide prevention

If you think there is a high risk of self-injury or injury to someone else:

  • Dial 911 or your local emergency line.
  • Remain with the person until emergency services arrive.
  • Remove firearms, knives, drugs or other potentially dangerous objects.
  • Listen, but don’t judge, don’t argue, don’t threaten, don’t shout.

If you think a person is trying to commit suicide or is thinking of committing suicide, ask for help through a suicide prevention or crisis line. Try our national suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255.

Sources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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